So with the recent increase in hate crimes against Asian Americans I've become increasingly more anxious and a really bad internalized racism cycle formed in my subconscious.

I think also that this is something that has been brewing all my life as I've grown up in a majority white area. And then double that down with being a dark skinned asian and there's another layer of colorism within the community too.

It sucks to be told your unwanted in the country of your own birth, and as consequence of trying to fit in as much as possible I can't even speak my own native language.