We’ve been in therapy for a year with a therapist we like. Every session is about how we both have a lot of work to do. He had us read Codependent No More. It comes down to a simple choice; to take each other as is and make the best of it or to end it. Some improvement is being made, but it is what it is.

You have been independent, so you are more likely to choose to go it alone while I go running right back. It’s a toxic push/pull that is definitely part of a disorder (for me).

I’m sorry you’ve had dinners in nice restaurants ruined. When we’ve been at odds, I chose to not go out to dinner. I enjoy a nice meal out and would hate to ruin it. Tbh, he never plans the date unless it’s a big occasion. He asks me, “What’s for dinner?” I’m the one who is the ‘Social Director’.