Quote:
Originally Posted by RoxanneToto
It’s still better that you let it out if it gets too much to hold in (though I’m sorry about your dinner!). These feelings need to be acknowledged, preferably as they come up but I know it doesn’t always seem like a good time or you don’t always have a good outlet for them.
And even if your intention was to just leave, without considering reconciliation, it can still take several attempts for most people in similar situations.
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True - very true. It's a shame though since he wanted to treat me to a nice dinner.
Honestly, I'm perturbed that for the last month, he's showered me with HIS feelings (ie I can't live without you, I love you soooo much, etc etc) yet not ONCE asked me how I feel. I told him this too. So then at dinner ,when I DID tell him how I feel (Ie I am not sure whether this can work out), he got sick to his stomach all the next day.
So I showed up at our couples therapy appt pissed off at him. He doesn't take my feelings into account. He expects that I will simply just trust him again, now that he's made all these promises to never hurt me again.
He's broken promises time and time again. How can I possibly trust him? And he says he's changed already? He hasn't even had therapy yet!
And what happens IF we moved back in together, and a year or months later he blows up in a rage at me again?!? I've already laid down the law and have said many times: ONE more time, and we're done.
I just don' t trust that he will never blow up at me again.
I don't know how we can possibly move forward given how I feel. But I am not ready to let go yet either. I feel SO alone, and I know I am clinging to the relationship out of sheer loneliness and after having gone through many insanely hard times recently.
Hence, being stuck between a rock and a hard place.
This SUCKS.