I have 3 kids from my ex-wife. I then spent 9 years with a new partner (no kids with her). This partner left me in June 2020, mainly due to me not marrying her and my mental health issues. It was a very happy relationship overall but we were very dependent on each other and things started to go wrong about 3 years ago. Since she left in June I suspected she was in another relationship but she denied it and kept saying she needed space and still loved and missed me but wanted to take things super slow. We only met up once, in November 2020, kissed, hugged (did not sleep together).

As recently as early February this year she thanked me for giving her the space she needed and told me she would like to spend the day together. It never happened and she went very quiet.

Last week she told me the truth: she has been in a relationship all along and is engaged to the new guy. She then blocked me on phone and email.

I'm glad for the closure but the last year has been absolute hell and I am devastated. I have intrusive thoughts, suicidal feelings which I don't upon for the sake of my kids, and an inconsolable grief which is eating me up inside my body.

I know this is a lot. It would be nice to connect with anyone who understands what I'm going through.