Thanks again for all the support! Just a quick update to let you know that things are still going well treatment-wise. Please feel free to ignore if it's getting tedious.

Right now ECT number seven is coming up tomorrow. According to the score we're using to keep track of my depression severity, I'm still at the high end of "moderate" depression, leaning towards "severe." It fluctuates a bit, some better days and some worse, which I guess is to be expected. Still, my score is currently only just over half of what it was when I started out, when my depression measured as "very severe," so the improvement is undeniable and I'm happy with it. Also, my irritability is almost entirely gone, which is good. Anxiety seems to be one of the last things to go, it's still pretty strong at the moment for reasons I can't quite explain.

I'm starting to remember what it was like to have the capacity to be excited about things, and I think at times I'm starting to remember what it feels like to be myself again. There are also times when I feel sadness and fear that the depression will worsen again, and sometimes it seems like those feelings hit extra hard now that I have something to contrast them with.



I am extremely eager to start working towards something again, like a project or anything worthwhile. However, though the excitement is starting to come back, it's still hard to do anything concrete because the ECT itself is just so exhausting, as I mentioned before. Also, I'm kind of afraid to overdo it and push myself too hard. I want to be careful to strike the right balance between pushing myself enough but not too much, just enough to optimize my recovery. I was wondering if anyone here had any advice in that regard?

Another question I wanted to ask is, any advice on how to estimate the right time to stop the ECT and transition to maintenance treatment? Like I said, I'm very happy with the results so far, and the side effects are still tolerable, but it's still a pretty taxing treatment and I'd prefer not to continue it unnecessarily long, especially since I feel like I won't be able to find the energy to get back to work or anything like that while I'm still doing the treatment.

Also, I have to say that I'm finding it pretty difficult to estimate the extent of the memory loss. I think I haven't lost anything important yet, just a little fuzzy thinking which I attribute more to the anaesthesia than anything else, and which I think will improve after the treatment stops. However, I'm starting to get a little paranoid about the possibility of memory loss, I keep feeling like I vaguely recognize strangers in the street and things like that, which is a little unnerving.