You're right - I really don't have to, although couples therapy may force a decision upon me. I just feel very weakened still by all the trauma I've been through lately. I'm worried about him completely manipulating our therapist and worsening my mental health though. I am very concerned about that given this is what abusers typically do in couples therapy. He already was trying to downplay his lies and deceptions in our first meeting by making each sound very minor or trivial.