This sounds like such a difficult situation. I know you said that you do see yourself finding another T but it might help just to have a few sessions with someone as sort of the closure you didn't get with your T. Maybe you could call the place you were getting therapy at to see if they have someone you could see. I'm sorry he didn't give you any referrals. That kind of left you in a lurch. I'm sorry about the back surgery too. I hope you are healing okay. HUGS if wanted, Kit