Trigger warning: I suffered abuse from my brother. Physical, verbal and sexual, from what my patchy memory is allowing me to remember. I never told anyone about the latter. My Mum knew about the rest but was too ill/weak to intervene. My relationship with my brother deteriorated to the point of non existence (though to be fair my relationship with every human being faded away too) We got back in touch later in life and now 'get on' well, but this is still all unspoken. I am now in therapy trying too deal with it all but how on Earth can I make sense of it. How can I marry up the past with the present. It feels like an impossible task. I cannot forget. I cannot forgive. But I also don't want to lose what I have now with him as an adult. It just seems so impossible and I can't talk to anyone close to me about it because he is in my life and I don't want to change the status quo of how my family see him, I don't think. I'm so sorry you went through all of what you did. No one should ever be treated like that.