It's SO many things. I can see clearly that he's simply been "love bombing" me again, making more grand promises of change and also making grand gestures of his love. I am not buying it. It does not ring true for me. I don't even think he truly loves me. I think he loves what I provide for him and that's it - security, financial support, I take care of him and give him emotional support.

NOT ONCE has he asked me how I feel about him and our relationship over the last six weeks. NOT ONCE. He's spent the entire six weeks telling me how HE feels, yet never thought to ask how I feel. Then, when I expressed strong doubts the other night at dinner? He gets physically ILL from it the entire next day. So what does that create? Guilt for expressing my true feelings and an atmosphere or dynamic whereby I cannot express my true feelings or else he will become SICK.

ARGH!

AND.... I am NOT buying his story of what happened around the time of the infidelity. He claims he was SO upset and distraught over me calling the police on him that he acted out of character. He had previously PROMISED me NUMEROUS times that IF there ever were a problem between us ,that he would let me know! DID HE in this instance? NO - he stepped out of our marriage to engage with another woman very flirtatiously INSTEAD ,while SIMULTANEOUSLY LOVE BOMBING ME! IF there truly was a problem, WHY wasn't he instead distant and angry with me? NONE of this adds up on my mind, and I think his reasoning smells very fishy!

My father advised that we go to one more couples counseling session to help us to end things amicably. I don't know if I want to or if he will even be willing to now that it's truly over.

At least this go around, it's not ending on a completely rageful and angry manner. I am not enraged anymore... I am drained and am simply just done with trying. I have nothing left to give, and the trust is completely gone. And I don't have the patience to sit in therapy with him. He clearly does not truly wish to do the work since he thinks it's all resolved.