The last couple of nights have been more like ones before the two day reprieve. It's gotten to the point where I just don't give a damn. As for my mood, I still get a bit agitated, loud, and angry. I am taking the extra 50 mg of Seroquel XR. Rather than up it to 100 mg, I'm trying to practice mindfulness about it, and self-correction of behavior, as possible. At points, I feel dull in spirit. It's a back and forth between opposites. If the "mindfulness" and self-correction fails, then I'll accept the extra dose increase. I've found that my base dose of Seroquel XR has risen over the years. Luckily though my weight has also increased, it hasn't been significant. I eventually always settle in to a higher dose, and it becomes more weight neutral...but usually at the slightly higher weight. Occasionally I find the motivation to cut calories, but it's a sporadic thing, and usually only lasts between two and four months. Enough to get down to what seems a genetically stamped "low weight" for me...about 7 to 10 lbs above my normal BMI range.

The weather has been what my Czech husband calls "Poshmoristan", a made up word including the Czech word "pošmourno" that means grayish/gloomy and the addition of "stan" which in Persian (Iranian language) means "place of" (think Uzbekistan or Kazakhstan). Yea, CZ is not known for having sunny weather. Boo!