Any loss is difficult to deal with. Realizing a relationship should end is no different. In my own experience, it helped me to list what I was losing and what I was gaining. It seems from my brief reading of this thread, you are losing a selfish, entitled, abusive male. Divorce doesn't diminish your effort in this relationship, it highlights your personal growth in knowing you want and deserve something better.

I hope you find peace as you make your choice.