I just re-read my "Sobriety List" - the list I created detailing ALL abusive incidents, broken promises, lies, love bombing, controlling behaviors, and deceptions since we met! WOW. That truly was very SOBERING to read again. I hadn't read this list in months. I am SO glad I have this list to remind me of who he TRULY is.

He was so focused yesterday on having been the model husband over the last 2 months that I almost was about to believe it. ALMOST, but in my gut, I know better. It's all an act of manipulation, all over again. And his blame towards me - yet again? More abuse! He has not learned anything.

I cannot believe he tried to argue that because he made a pact with God, that it means he will be the model husband from now on. That was his "inroad" with me - that he had spoken to God and to Jesus.

Wow - and here I've been SO vulnerable, that I was about to make another huge mistake by getting back together with him for real.

Thank Goodness for this forum, and for all the peeps supporting me through this. I could have ruined the remainder of my life.

And thank goodness that I had the wherewithal to break it off with him Friday night. I do not know what came over me - something did - and it was overpowering. It was rather out of the blue, too. Something snapped in me, it was my gut reaction to him, and I did it without much thought. I paused for one brief second before sending him the break up text saying I want a divorce.