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Old Apr 18, 2021, 11:49 AM
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Have Hope Have Hope is offline
Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,731
He never even asked me how I felt after our therapy session! I had divulged in therapy that I was very angry with him, and that I didn't trust him, in addition to many details regarding his abuse towards me. He didn't even ask me about it during the week. He didn't address anything I had said in therapy, as though it never even happened. I realize now how much my feelings do not matter to him. All he cares about are his own feelings and himself. He didn't even love me. He loves me for what I provide. I know this even more so now than ever. He was systematically brainwashing me over the last 2 months by telling me repeatedly every single day how he cannot live without me. It was all about HIM, what HE wants and what HE NEEDS. I began to ignore or shove down my own feelings. My eating disorder returned too. And I knew then that something was very wrong, all over again. My eating disorder had disappeared after we separated. Then it returned almost as soon as he came back into my life. VERY TELLING.

The relief I feel today knowing that it's truly over is amazing... overpowering.

I am still processing all that's happened in the last 2 months with him. He never gave me a chance to breathe, think or process anything because he was omnipresent in all ways. He pushed himself on me and clung to me in every way. UGH. He's a parasite! A clingy, needy parasite that I've had to peel off my body with both hands!
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"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination"

~4 Non Blondes
Hugs from:
Bill3, eskielover, RollercoasterLover, RoxanneToto
Thanks for this!
Bill3, RoxanneToto