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Should I turn on my a/c or should I leave my windows open for some fresh (though very warm) air? Decisions, decisions.
I have a new name for my "anxiety." Hypervigilance. Sometimes to the point of paranoia or delusion. Besides BD my diagnosis is PTSD, thanks to a childhood full of the things childhood isn't supposed to be full of. It hit me like a bucket of cold water 4 days ago: this feeling is hypervigilance. Feeling constantly afraid of being physically attacked in some way (even when I'm alone), fearing that everything is suddenly going to go tragically wrong, etc., etc. So I brought my concern into therapy and that's what I want to work on for awhile now.
All my millions of meds = status quo.
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