I didn’t think I could make it through work today. I only did because it was a half day for the students. When I clocked out for lunch I cried in my car. I never cry. But I was overwhelmed with such sadness and despair that I really couldn’t do anything else.

I made a virtual pdoc appt for tomorrow at 12pm. I have to kinda sneak out and go to my car but it’ll only take a few minutes. It’s not like there’s anything she can really do though. I can’t go up on lamictal, it made me sick. Depakote does nothing for depression for me. I don’t want to add an AP, I’m already on seroquel for sleep. And Xanax prn for anxiety. I think I just have to suffer.