Thank you @
Yaowen. You did help by replying. I do appreciate that you took the time to read and respond.
The biggest heartbreak for me is that I'm not being a good parent to my pups while I'm freaking out. Which is happening more often lately. I struggle with worrying about my health because I don't want to abandon them, but at the same time struggle to keep going when I just want it all to stop. Today I love them enough and still have a little hope to keep going. But I do fear that scale tipping in the other direction. Days like today make it challenging.
Thank you again for responding. It does help. I hope that things get better for you as well.