I got my report card yesterday and am still shocked. I got A's B's a C and two D's. I never get C's or D's yet haven't been at school for a while because it's to stressful. If I had to go to that school for five days a week I'd (TRIGGER!!!!!!) kill myself. No joke.

No one besides my friends and family understand that it's hard. But does it have to be this hard? It's depression for Christ's sake! It's not bipolar disorder or schizophrenia, it's f'ing depression! WHY IS IT THIS HARD?!

I felt like dying yesterday after the news and am now not thinking about it because I have a lot of work to do for school. I hate most of my life and myself. Why can't I be smarter? More successful? Why? I think about these things everyday and it tears me apart!

Well, that's what is going through my head now. I guess I really do suck...