That does sound painful. Hugs if wanted. Something like that happened with me. After I'd seen my t for one year, she moved out of state for awhile and we did phone sessions during that time. On one of those phone sessions we had an argument and I freaked out and hung up on her. I stewed in my own juices feeling completely miserable for 3 days before calling her and apologizing. She graciously accepted my apology and we talked about what happened and she said that it's a relationship, and while it had been damaged, like all relationships it could be repaired. And we did, and I think it got stronger because of it. We've had a couple of other big ruptures since then as well and always worked through them. I wish you all the best! And welcome to the forum!