LT, your saying how you were feeling but also that you weren't asking - reminds me of something. I have been seeing L in person again for a little while, for which I am hugely grateful, but without our usual hug as I'm leaving of course. I really miss those hugs. But I've been afraid to tell her that, just to talk about it, even though, like you, I would not be asking for them again, because she might interpret my talking about how I feel about it as asking even if I'm not.

(well that was a comma-heavy sentence haha)