Thank you everyone! Much to read and absorb here. I will have to come back and re-read everyone's replies. Lots of good suggestions and food for thought.

This time, I will distance from him for sure and will limit all interactions. All we need to do is file for divorce - paperwork is mostly done. There's no reason for us to be in touch about much since he already moved out in the fall. He has one small load of his belongings left that I found but that is it.