I'm fried so I'll do my best to help you. For one, it's good that you came here. Go to the support chat if you can and discuss this with people there. If that doesn't help call an emergency hotline. If you get to the point that you have a solid enough plan and feel unsafe enough to carry through with it, call 911 and request to be taken for a psychiatric evaluation. God, I sound like such a pig don't I? I apologize but currently that's what options come to mind. I hope you will be OK...