Quote:
Originally Posted by Marie123
I am sorry you are going through this. I got a divorce after 31 years of verbal abuse. The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans saved my life. Sometimes it helps to write (to the abuser) a letter of "restorative justice." That means saying...this is what you did, this is how it made me feel. Most abusers will deny their abuse, the letter is more for you than the abuser. Keeping a journal is also helpful. After 20 years divorced, I still feel anger. All of our feelings are valid....do you have a friend you can share with what you are going through.....a therapist can help also....Unfortunately, some therapists aren't well trained in verbal abuse; it is necessary to interview some to find out who wlll meet your needs. It might help to do some physical exercise to help with that frustration and anger, but I found for me that talking about it with friends was helpful. I wish you love and hugs.
|
I saw our couples therapist on my own last night. Right now, I am therapist shopping. I asked him if I can see him again next week. He could be very helpful to me, though I wasn't able to address all my anger with him last night.
I do have close friends to lean on, but they've heard this story for a year now. Round and around we go. A couple of my closest girlfriends are still able to listen and support me through this. They understand how hard it's been to separate from him, which has gone on for nearly a year.
I've journaled and I've written letters that I have not sent. It helps somewhat, but verbal communicaition works best with me, with friends or a therapist
I also have an abuse advocate with whom I have been working for months. She provides support and concrete advice and also strategies on how to manage him.
I do have help, but I am still processing... I need someone to process all of this with me.