My therapist shows understanding and compassion even when I have lashed out unjustly at her when dysregulated.

She could have quit being my therapist, or replied defensively. She also could sweep it under the rug and pretend it never happened, if she was conflict averse.

Instead, she points it out and invites me to discuss the triggers that start the lashing out, and works with me on what I can do so that I don't lash out.

As she knows I've intense shame about me lashing out, she also points out I'm pushing myself to attend therapy to learn how to break this harmful pattern. Unlike my perpetrators who have no interest in changing in order to stop being harmful.

She also didn't shut down my disagreement when I said I don't lash out with anyone else in my life, but only with her due to the particular triggers within our therapeutic relationship.

Due to a fear I expressed based on how I fear I have the potential to be abusive, she also assured me she would not allow herself to be a verbal/emotional punching bag, and that should I ever cross the line, she would not tolerate it. That helped me feel safer.