Hi all. I don't often post about this topic, because it can be triggering for me, but I want to try.
Recently I had the loss of my aunt and I was very attached to her, we stayed together for festivities and often on weekends and so on. She was also quite young and suffered quite a lot in the last time, so it was very bad for all the family. It's a big change.
More recently also another bad thing happened, because one of my best friends lost her mum. I didn't personally know her mum very well, but the fact that my friend is suffering has in big impact on my and the other friends (we are a very close group).
Now, I'm finding it difficult to deal "well" with these sad feelings. In both the cases I'm the most affected person by the loss...for my aunt, though I loved her a lot, the worst is for other people who were closer to her (like my cousin and my mum, who was her sister). For my friend's mum, the worst is of course for her. So, I feel a bit bad to think about myself and want support about this (especially in the first case I feel sometimes to need support), because I feel I should especially support the others as I can. But also for me it's bad. Both with family and with friends, I'm finding it difficult to find even just a pause and a distraction from these sad thoughts, because in both the situation there is a grief going on, also for the others.
Also...in both the situations there was the loss of a mum, and I'm finding this particularly triggering. In the second case it was also very sudden. So, my (probably normal) reaction would be to spend more time with my mum and enjoy her presence. But, in this situation she has to spend a lot of time with my cousin and grandmother to help them with several things, and I can't stay with her as much as I'd want and need in this moment. I feel a bit selfish for it, but that's it. And also, even when I'm finally with her, sometimes I find it a bit hard to enjoy these moments, because I automatically think about sad things instead of just enjoying the present moment.
Thanks for listening. Also just writing this all was good for me, I think. But if you also have suggestions (both about dealing with the two grieves and about spending time with my mum) it would be helpful.
Thank you