Most family courts have mediators for preventing domestic violence or even just to help commu inaction during a conflict filled time. A mediator doesn't necessarily negotiate on your behalf, but are simply present with you as you negotiate the last bits. They can also help offer a compromise that meets state law. Using the court mediator put him on his best behavior and helped me feel safe. In my state it was a free service.

As for personal belongings, if you make a mediation appointment, bring the items along and make the exchange with a neutral 3rd party watching. It certainly limited my ex's options for name calling and verbally assaulting me.

I hope things go smoothly and quietly for you.