So Sorry about what happened! Try to distract by doing something you enjoy perhaps? If you have a therapist it may be something worth discussing with him/her. Hugs. Please do not give up. i am here if you need to talk and i think many others as Well. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @MrsA, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!