I am at a loss of words. I feel myself resorting to old behaviors, drinking, smoking weed. 3 of my favorites weed, CBD and Alcohol. nice mix. I know that there is not responses from my emails, and there is never. Not sure why I set myself up thinking that maybe you would respond this time vs before. I know the cycle and I cant break it. after sending email you dont respond and I tend to regret and then it starts the disconnection. that is where I am. disconnecting, i dont remember much from session in fact i dont remember anything. My email talked of being honest with you, but here I am drinking and smoking and dont plan on telling you what the **** do you care anyways.