I believe from Seaturtle's post that this man may have suffered from abuse as a young person and has a real fear of true intimacy. If that is the case, make sure he gets good counseling on this or your relationship here will be an unhappy one. If he refueses to acknowledge that there is a real problem, be kind but WALK AWAY from this.

Sorry but I cannot stand men who simply gratify themselves and make no effort to bring pleasure to the woman they are with. I feel bad for every woman stuck with a man who denies them in that way, its not right.

In my world the needs of my lover come before my own.

Good luck and take care.