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What your husband wants to do is stealing. He might feel he was screwed over by companies in the past, but this company did not screw him over the light switch. By his thinking it would be okay for me to be mean to other people because I was bullied as a kid.
The last line of your post jumped out at me. It's not up to you to ask him "hard" questions to help him grow. It's not your job to direct how he grows, period. That's not to say you have to agree with him all the time, just let him make his own decisions about his life.
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