I lost a 3d relationship that left me feeling MUCH the way you are feeling. I totally went crazy over it. I saw the signs that the end was near for a LONG time, but I denied it and denied it. I tried frantically to keep him because I loved him so much. My heart broke in half. I hurt myself over it (si). I tried to talk it out with him. I practically begged him to stay, but when a person is ready to move on, they just are. No amount of trying to connect is going to get you closer to a person who is plain and simply finished with this relationship. It hurts like hell. And I can relate to contemplating suicide because of such a loss. But give it some time. You'll hurt every day, no doubt. You will cry and cry. I've done that. Just keep talking to us here and trying to put your energies into new relationships. It's over with her. You've got to acceept that. Your pain will ease over time.

Best wishes,
Angela