of everything ive ever done there was one choice i remember that was very hard to make...

maybe it wasnt even a choice... it was like a running away from one thing to something else... i didnt want to run and i still think the place i ended up at was the right place for everyone afterall... but it was such a hard decision to come to/be pushed into.... it was the recognition of what a wretch i was.. the second ego collapse.....

it was one of those that was so painful i still go emotionally fetal when i think about it.... and i still know it was the right thing.......

thanks for helping me release this.... you all matter so much