Hi Velouria,
I, too, am new to this group. I have divorced 3 times and each time it was me who left. I keep thinking maybe I should seek counseling, but every time I start the process I don't follow through. I am sorry about what you are dealing with. I also have difficulty with friendships and often find myself wanting to just be home by myself, even though that gets lonely at times. Maybe because I'm ashamed of what a wasted life I have led.
Anyway, I don't want to bog you down with my troubles but I did want to offer up myself as someone you could talk to