I hope your appointment goes well, Kit.

I would suggest telling him exactly this: "I've been fairly stable for a little while but it wasn't that long ago that I wasn't stable. When I am stable I often feel like why am I in therapy but when I'm not stable then I know why I am in therapy." And I think one goal would be to try to stay stable, or to recognize the signs that you're becoming less stable an have a plan to deal with them. Not just like a safety plan, but something that kicks in sooner than that.

As for working with a male T, I find I actually tend to prefer them. But it's always been a bit easier for me to talk to males, for whatever reason.

So, he will likely have your paperwork in front of him and may reference things from it. That doesn't mean he didn't look at it before. But with this being the first time you're seeing him, he won't have the memory from working with you for a long time. And he may have questions about specific things you said. That's what Dr. T did the first session in part, went through some of my answers with me, asked questions, etc.

Some T's also have a standard way that they do intakes, especially if he works for a clinic. Like certain questions they ask all new clients. He may want to go through and take a general history, like, say, when certain symptoms and conditions started, what sorts of treatment (not just medication, but types of therapy, mindfulness, etc.) you've tried. A general sense of what your childhood was like, what your current living and working conditions are, things like that. And he'll likely explain how he works. He should be open to your asking any questions. It's a time when you could ask, say, whether he allows outside contact or extra sessions.

Or it could be that you sign on and he just asks what led you to come see him and it's a more open conversation. It really just depends on the therapist's style.

One thing I would say is, unless you really dislike him or he says he has little experience treating your conditions, I would give it at least two sessions to decide. The first can be very businesslike, you're just getting to know each other. The fact that it will be online could make it more challenging to get a true sense of him--some therapists are much better online than others (I'm lucky in that mine is one of the good ones with that). And I assume he'd eventually meet clients in person again?

Also, I used doxy.me a couple times with D's T, and I think it's what I used for a consultation with another potential T. It was fairly easy to use, from what I recall, where they just send you a link.

Will be thinking good thoughts for you!

Sorry, that ended up being a novel!