My MIL comes tomorrow the house is a disaster and all I can do is concentrate on not flipping the **** out. I’m shaking, I'm hyper just to stay sitting. The thorizen was supposed to knock me on my ***. The fact I can hear through my blaring music bothers me. TMI: hyper sexuallity I’m getting genuinely angry I can’t spend money. I’d color but I’ll ruin whatever I color. I don’t know what to do with myself. Everything feels good but not enough. I love this feeling but the anger is building. I’m usually good at hiding my hypo but they're going to for a while (weeks). I can’t go IP with them here. Plus they’re going to see I take pills 3x a day.

Everyone knows I have BP. Hell they know I was IP (after the fact). Because they were talking about how going to the psych hospital is a vacation and M trying to stick up for people said “My mom went on a hospital vacation two times.” The looks I got. Anyway they come tomorrow. I can’t isolate , I figgity as ****, my language is more colorful, There’s no way I can be a functioning adult and good host. They can’t delay their trip. How do I get through this without looking “crazy”? We’re all going to be stuck in the house together for weeks. It's not like I can plan outings. I’m not psychotic so that’s good. She going to look at our place and be so sad and clean my whole house. H is down I think, he’s not appreciating me spamming him with things we have to buy before they get here. He keeps telling me wait. I DON’T WANT TO WAIT! They are things we are going to need and I’ll be damned if I fight in front of his family, that’s just rude. I don’t know how coherent this is but any suggestions would be helpful.

Also when does hypo turn into full mania?