Um ok I do think I’ve short circuited. I went out for a walk with the fam, right, like sunshine fresh air should be good. My mind went SNAP and I panicked at all the open space. I could not wait to get home and get back under my weighted blanket. There was no one around but us but I felt like I was about to die.

I really feel unsafe and afraid that I am going to get killed. I’m not sure I can ever leave this bed. I can’t even be sure of RS at this point though I’m trying to convince myself he’s safe. I took a hot shower and tried to calm the panic.

I am hoping that a good night sleep will reset me. I’m taking an extra 25mg seroquel and some Xanax. Otherwise there’s absolutely no way in hell I can even leave the house tomorrow