Death is no option for any of us. It's mandatory but we can choose to hasten it or we can let our lives run their course.

I am sorry that you are in a hard place to be. Our moods, for various reasons, can be so gray that nothing feels worth it. I have to challenge myself each day to take a walk outside, clean something in the house, go to a group or grocery shopping. Some days nothing happens and I mean nothing. Yet on the days when I just get my body outside the four walls of my existence the world seems a little bit better.

Try and set small achievable goals and see where it takes you in the life you are now living.