I understand what you feel. I can relate to the feelings of being blamed for something you do not do on purpose. My parents are the last person I go to for support, because I know they will blame me.

One thing I know for sure, is that the way I felt when my parents treated me is genuine. It doesn't matter if it was not "a big deal" in the eyes of someone else. My emotions are valid just because they are. So if I felt "abused" by something it was indeed abusive--to me. Whether someone else does not take it that way does not change the fact that I felt it that way.

And this is where my path to healing started, being ok with emotions, accepting what they are, and doing something (like therapy) to feel differently.
I think most therapist would agree with the validity of feelings.