I am sorry that you are in this situation.

I don't know if my suggestion could help. I think aside of therapy, you have to try something new. Maybe join a community or set up some small goals. Change is hard (and scary), especially for the first time. But if you want to be out from your current situation, you have to take a leap.

Also, don't be too hard on yourself. Most people don't do incredible stuff or achivements, they also do the same old routine.

All best for you.