I do envy a lot people who find easy to engage with people, meet and connect with them easily. Join groups to do different kind of activities.
I’m just the opposite for obvious reason stated in my signature.
Lately, when I don’t feel depressed, I have been trying to open up to people. It’s worthy because you feel like you belong to the human race at least a little.
Two experiences have happened that made me lose my confident.
One is the fact that the few people I have met and I saw them as possible friendship, people around me don’t trust these relations or have their reservations about these people. As if they had a hidden agenda in regards to the relation with me. It makes me doubt because I’m a very insecure person and easily influenced as to what relations concerns. Indeed I cut off the relation with one of these persons and I felt so bad when I ran into her some days ago.
Then, there’s the problem that I had recently an experience that makes me question how hard I have to connect with people.
It is all making me want to withdraw of trying it. And it would have a very negative effect. I know it because I’ve already experienced it.