((((lyn))))

thank you for the reply.

You are right about it being about them and their sickness. I've tried to understand, to find a reason why. As far as I know I was a wanted child. I was "supposed" to have Down's syndrome or something (according to ultrasound... not sure.. my sister told me this), my parents must've been relieved when it turned out that I didn't.

Before I remembered my abuse I always thought that nobody is deserving or asking for things like rape etc. The same applies here, but it is kind of difficult to accept when it is about _you_. The self-hatred is rooted so deep.

I'm trying to stay safe for the next few days. It's one of those tough episodes, I can tell.

Thank you for caring.