I’m not trying to scare anyone, but I have a question I would really like an honest answer to despite its subject matter…

I want to be dead. I know I’m probably just being dramatic due to my situation but the more I think about am everything the more I wonder if life is even worth it if we die anyway. Yes I get that experiences are worth it and what you do for others matters but seriously. Why is death not considered an option when literally everything else is an exercise in futility?
Im not trying to say I’m so depressed I want to die but rather even at my beat I can’t seem to find an actual reason we live and cling to it so. I don’t know what to think haha and I know I need my meds back soon but all in all I just don’t know… thoughts? And please don’t try to “talk me off the ledge”, I’m not in that kind of crisis I’m just too philosophical.