Quote:
Originally Posted by jkray
All of this resonates with me, too. I figured out that my dad was an emotional bully awhile back, but somehow I always believed my mom was blameless up until the day she cruelly discarded me. (A covert narcissist all along.) It sucked when I found out, but it has also been one of the best things that happened. Finally, after all these years I realize where all the anxiety, lack of confidence, and people pleasing come from. I finally see that I’ve never had the opportunity to share my feelings with either of my parents . Not a single heart-to-heart talk in all those years. Just fearing to speak up and going along with almost everything they wanted. No wonder I’ve been trying to run away my entire life.
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I see myself in your comments. Especially about thinking that my mom was blameless and wanting to run away. I have always tried to run away but did not even realize I was trying to run away. As a child, I would spend all day at the neighbors house, as a teen I went to attend college in another city, As a college student I would go on excursion and trips during the breaks so I wouldn't have to go home, As a college graduate I went for a graduate degree in a whole other continent.
I think when you try to run away, it shows that you understood something was wrong, you knew that you were happier anywhere else than there, and that you were not scared to chase it! I think we should be happy we had to strength to run away. In my case, it made be realize the abuse, but also who I was. Although I'm still figuring out that last point. Cheers to you
