OMG I nearly had a panic attack trying to find this forum. I have to use my phone because my computer broke. I am a little freaked out by this effort. I am in a new apartment near a good hospital in case I have any issues. I am going to NC with my sister. I love my sister. But I am having a lot of panic. I think once we get started I should be better. I am trying to figure out who we are now. I am back in ny and recovering from cancer. A voice who I trust has said I will die when I'm 68. This voice has always been good to me like angel since I was very young. And she is always right. I think she told me to help me get through my cancer. I just believed I had more time. I am grateful. At present I am finding it difficult to commit to anything. Like volunteering or employment. I feel like I am in between this life and dying. I asked to stay to see my sister and spend time with her. It's been great. My niece has had a son to add to her family. She now has two sons and a great wife. They have a beautiful family. My son and I are on better terms. He is the reason I have gotten this far. Our energy will always be connected. I am lucky to have had this life.