The key, that you identified, is this is how you prefer the etiquette and so clearly communicating this with a roommate, and compromising where possible, is essential.

I think one or two dishes in the sink (As long as cleaned or loaded in dishwasher by end of day) is fine. But what's a deal breaker for me is passive aggressive behavior. If someone can't come to me openly and discuss something bothering them and expects me to either tiptoe or hound them to tell me what's bothering them because they are behaving passively hostile, no way. Grow the **** up.

Also respect that your roommate may have a different lifestyle or limitations. I had a roommate once and I was on medication that made me extraordinarily fatigued. She was visibly angry all the time at me for sleeping as much as I did, like it had any impact on her? She knew I was on these meds, and disabled, and she was a total jerk. But she was just a total jerk anyhow.