Well... I don't know. I don't get much exercise either. But I'm old. And I just don't care anymore. I do think it's difficult to keep something, such as an exercise program or a weight loss effort, going alone. One needs other people around them who are walking the same path, so to speak. If you're getting over 12.000 steps per day in at work, it sounds as though you're doing pretty well and certainly not a lazy slob. You wrote you wish you could just live a healthy, balanced life, but apparently have no idea what that looks like. Perhaps that's the type of thing one of those "life coaches" one reads about could help with? I don't know. It's just a thought. Best wishes...