Your truth isn’t erased.

Him saying things has nothing to do with truth. Its unrealistic wanting him to accept the truth or validate and acknowledge abuse. If he was the kind of person who admits it validates or acknowledges abuse, he’d likely not be an abuser and you’d not have to divorce. Abusers are not the ones to acknowledge abuse or they’d not abuse in the first place.

You give him too much power and importance. His words or thoughts aren’t of ultimate importance. And you can’t really expect validation from him. It’s not going to happen. And that’s why you got to divorce him and hopefully move on