kd, I very rarely feel any anger. When I do, it's inappropriate to the situation and I can be pretty rude to certain people in my life (particularly people who remind me of certain others in my life, you know?). I get very snappy for no good reason and I have a hard time reigning it in. But mostly, I just don't feel mad about all the things that I SHOULD be mad about. Every now and then I can feel just a taste of the anger. I think you'll know what I mean when I say I know it isinside there, but I'm not exactly feeling it.

***May Trigger*** I feel like someone is choking me when I get mad. It reminds me of all the times I tried so hard to keep the anger down, just to keep myself safe from further harm if you know what I mean by that. It's the same sort of feeling, although this time it's just automatic to stuff the anger down. I'm not choosing to do it any more. Make sense? Anyway, it's like I'm being choked with it, it doesn't come out. And sometimes in my head, I imagine myself really flipping out with anger. Destroying property and going on the warpath. But in reality, even if I tried to vent that rage in a less harmful way, as soon as I tried to express the feeling, it would evaporate into thin air. I find this very frustrating and disturbing.*******

I hope I haven't hijacked your thread. I share it in hopes of helping you know you're not alone, and maybe we can all gain some insight about anger from this sharing. I hope so. I really am troubled by this, and have been for a long time.


Angela