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Apr 30, 2021, 11:28 AM
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Member Since: Apr 2014
Location: Home
Posts: 8,406
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes
The main reason to completely disconnect is that it frees you from being a part of the others persons dysfunctional way of interacting. This is especially true when the other person just continues navigating in a dysfunctional way and expects others to just go along with it.
This is often what addicts practice which is so unhealthy. Even for those who get sober, they have to really work on changing their dysfunctional habits while self medicating. And part of that is developing a habit of blaming others when things don’t work out. It requires actually growing up instead of just self medicating when challenges arise. And being willing to see ones own part of the dysfunction.
Your father is not interested in recognizing his dysfunctional behaviors. When it comes to that kind of person even if it’s a parent or family member a complete disconnect is necessary.
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I definitely see this. Sometimes I think my bio dad may be a dry drunk. He does have a cigarette addiction, which I know some people would shrug off as being problematic, but he can be violent when he needs his "fix". He smokes a few packs a day, and he can be violent when he starts to go into withdrawal. I did some research on this once, and withdrawal actually starts within 20 minutes of the last cigarette, which pretty much lines up with what I experienced as a child with his abuse.
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What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly?
Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.
Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien
Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
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