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I had an appointment with my pdoc. We agree that I'm on a lot of medication, so she suggested that I fairly slowly wean off the perphenazine (Trilafon - antipsychotic). She had prescribed it to me for severe anxiety. It was quite helpful for the first couple of months, but then it did what so many meds (especially AP's) do...just sorta stopped working. And I am learning, in therapy, other ways to cope with anxiety.
My pdoc, after 3 1/2 years, is at that place pdocs get to when they basically say I've used every trick in my book, whatever else is going on, you have to deal with it. For example, I told her I'm still more depressed than I'd like to be - not terribly, but I sure would like to feel a bit more "up." Her reply was that nothing is perfect, and that she believes I can use therapy tools to deal with the residual depression. The thing is, she's correct. There's no medication that will take away that last remnant of down-ness. The fact is, I miss certain aspects of hypomania. "Normal" to me feels like being 3/4's alive. One quarter is missing, like it's dead, or blank. But try to tell a pdoc that - HA. There's no perfect treatment, blah, blah, blah.
In other news, my daughter has been accepted to a grad school on the east coast. I'm delighted for her. I just wish I would have had more children. Only two means they take flight, far from home. 3 or 4 - one usually stays closer.
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