angela, me thinks we're sharing brains again. i could not only relate with some of what you said. i can relate to every single word that you said...every emotion and fear you explained, as it's very much my experience. anger was a dangerous emotion to witness or to let out...more harm would come.

and now, yes, it's as automatic as blinking or breathing for it to be stifled when it's felt coming up "to the throat". alot of times, leaving me to appear "flat". i know that's no longer healthy and really want to be able to healthily show my emotions when i'm angry with someone...also to be able to show the anger without 10 things from yesteryear feeding it.

thank you so much. you put into words what i couldn't...exactly.